Posts tagged ·your ex back·...

January 23, 2010 2:51 pm

How To Get Your Ex Back/Passion -v- Problem

0 Comments
by laura    in Advice Column

No one ever really wins a war. While there are casualties on both sides the war can never be won because both sides have lost something. Failing and failed relationships are no different.

There has never been a relationship between a man and woman that ran a smooth course. All relationships are flawed to some degree and usually fraught with problems. What should be understood is that the level of passion within a relationship plays a role in negating problems the two partners may encounter along the way.  Put simply,  where passion is involved, problems both big and small,  often fade away. The relationship remains strong.

If you want your ex back, don’t waste time trying to sort out past problems. The secret to re-kindling a failed relationship is to rekindle the passion. It is as simple as that. You both spent intimate times together and along with the bad memories there were also some great moments. These moments no doubt included passion and passion has a magical power over problems.  It can conquer them in no time.

Getting a chance to have a date with your ex, just one date, can can make all the difference and turn things around forever.  Armed with the right weapons your ex will want to melt back into your loving embrace. Do it right and your in like Flynn (pardon the pun), but the smallest error on your part can bring it all undone. Remember these 3 points on your date.

Look And Act Your Best
If you want to get back with your ex, I mean desperately want to get back with your ex, then this moment in your life is high priority.  Treat it like a milestone, an important event. Dress up and look like you mean business. Whatever attracted your ex to you in the past can certainly do it again.  Being a good listener has great benefits too. It allows insight into the heart  and mind of your ex and if you are a good observer, you will learn more about what makes them tick.  Even better still, they will enjoy having someone who is listening.  Everyone loves a good listener.

Stick To The Plot
Don’t fall into or get trapped into discussing your problematic past. Remind yourself and your date that you are both here for a good, relaxing time. Enjoy the moment and talk about things other than your relationship.

Flattery Earns Points
Don’t spare the compliments and use the time to show your ex that you care. Whether you and  your date are dining out, having a coffee or just going for a drive, moments will offer themselves up for a nice word or two, a loving stroke, hand holding or even a peck on the cheek. Don’t let these open opportunities go begging, as one thing often leads to another and passion ends up taking over. Problem NEARLY solved.

After a night of passion come a few moments of healthy vulnerability. It is moments such as these where people are more compliant, agreeable and even submissive. As soon as possible, you need to get down to the needs of the relationship. Right now the problems you both had in the past are less magnified. It is a time when mutual agreements can be forged.  Let them see for themselves that passion and love make all else pale into insignificance.

Follow these points like a strategic war plan and you could end up back with your ex, forging a new beginning in no time.

tags: , , ,
0 Comments
December 17, 2009 1:34 pm

How To Get Your Ex Back – Just 4 Easy Steps

0 Comments
by laura    in Advice Column

All of us have gone through a breakup at some point in our lives.  Breakups occur every day and the heart ache left behind after a breakup is very painful.  The thing with breakups is that no matter how many times you have been through them, they still hurt just as much. Still worse we waste precious moments while we take time out to rebuild our lives.
Despite the trauma and ultimate depression, many people still want to get back with their ex. Even if the relationship went bad and partners did not get along well, they still go through a period where they miss them and want them back.

Otherwise, most relationships follow a pretty predictable pattern.  When you first meet someone everything is wonderful and new.  They can do no wrong and you can do no wrong in their eyes.  After a short while comfort sets in.  You adjust to each other.  When the newness is gone and the comfort is there things in the relationship change.  The little quirks you were willing to overlook before actually bother you now.

There is an expression: “Familiarity breeds contempt.”  Truer words couldn’t be spoken for relationships.  After a couple get comfortable and familiar with each other, trouble usually starts.  This is exactly what tests the strength of the relationship.  It takes work and effort to maintain a relationship.  Sometimes, when things break, instead of getting repaired, the other person wants out of the relationship completely

Do you believe, despite it being over, your relationship is worth salvaging, even if the other person made it clear, it’s over?  If you need some answers on how get your ex back. here are four steps you can take.

10)  Say sorry

Apologising to your ex is the best of all how to get your ex back methods.  Even if it doesn’t get your ex back straight away, it’s usually the best first step.  The important thing to remember is to say sorry for the right reasons.  After a breakup it can be easy to blame yourself for everything.  Remember, it takes two people to have a successful relationship.  Knowing what exactly to apologize for is critical.

Whatever you do, when you apologize don’t let your ex bait you into an argument.  The biggest irony of saying sorry to an ex is that it can easily lead to another fight.  If you say you’re sorry, and your ex brings something else up, don’t get defensive.  Stay calm, keep your emotions, your ego, and your pride in check. The way to keep your cool is to follow your plan and take everything into consideration, including your ex’s anger and that they may use this meeting to let loose on you.

2) Sit Down And Talk

If your ex is up to it, set a time where both of you can sit down and talk.  Whatever you do, don’t beg, plead, cry, or force your ex into this.  If they don’t want to, then just go to the next step.  If they do agree, you’re going to have to keep your emotions in check.  This isn’t the time to get into a fight again.  Make it clear to your ex that you have no desire to bring blame into the discussion.

The key secret to a successful meeting like this is to listen, listren and listen. An often overlooked part to a bad relationship is that either or both partners just stopped listening. If you listen to them you will walk away feeling that you have achieved at least part of your objective. Sometimes people just feel better and calmer when they can spill their emotions, their feelings.

You will have plenty of time to say your bit because she or he will want another moment like this. A moment where you were willing to listen.

3.Be Prepared Tp Give Them Space

This may seem like the wrong direction to go when you try to get your ex back,but you have to remember just because you want to talk to them or see them, doesn’t mean they do.  Allow the partner some space. A brief time away from each other, before you try to win them back, will give you both time to cool down. They will also start to miss ou.  If you’re in touch with them all the time, they won’t be able to miss you. You need to be missed. As a better person than us once said, “You don’t know what you have until you lose it.”

4.Take Care Of Yourself And Show Them

Prove to them that you care about yourself. If you seem desperate, clingy, and whiny, you will not succeed.  If you sit around the house waiting for them to call or keep checking your email every few minutes hoping to get their message, you’re not doing yourself any favors.  Hang out with friends.  Go to movies, go to concerts, go to the mall.  Whatever, just get up and get out and live your life.

It’s best if you’re not there when your ex calls.  Then they’ll be wondering what you’re doing.  If you’re out and your cell rings and its your ex, don’t answer it.  Let the call go to voice mail. The best thing to do is wait until the next day to call them back.  Tell them you were busy, and you didn’t have time to call them back.  This will probably shock them.  You may even be able to get them to pursue you again.

If you see that your relationship is in serious jeopardy or that your relationship has reached u point of no return, there is still a good chance you can repair the rift. Depending on your willingness and seriousness, then you could seek professional help either from a therapist our relationship counsellor. If you wish to keep your life more private, then I can reccommend a program that is available called, The Magic Of Making Up, by T.W. Jackson.

This person is considered by even some professionals to be the best in his field. He has ressurected thousands  dying or dead relationships and saved families from the hardship of separation and divorce. It will cost you nothing to click this link and hear what he has to say. You can decide the rest.

For now, once again,Good Luck.

Love, Laura,

tags: , , , , ,
0 Comments
November 21, 2009 2:56 am

Best 5 Step To Get Back at Your Ex Then Get Your Ex Back

0 Comments
by laura    in Advice Column

Did your relationship with your ex deteriorate slowly or did it suddenly end with a bang?   Do you rack your brain day and night trying to figure out why your ex left you? Are you constantly plagued by the prospect of finding yourself alone and very lonely?  Do you  hate your ex for leaving you?

The connection two people create within a relationship  is often plagued by  insecurities, doubts and uncertainties.  The truth is, a relationship between two people is like a living, breathing being that needs feeding and nurturing. Ignore it and it eventually starves to death. Break ups  happen and that’s the reality of life. It’s painful, often debilitating, it brings on depression, anxiety, anger and even a lust for revenge.  If you were involved in a relationship that ended recently, all these feelings are leaving you feeling raw. You are probably thinking of ways to get back at your ex, make them pay for the pain and suffering they have caused you.  But is getting back at your ex really the way to go? Think long and hard. Do you really want your ex to suffer? Remember, this is the person you once loved dearly. In fact, you have probably discovered that you love them even more now than ever before. Like the saying goes, “You don’t know what you have until you lose it.”  Back to the key question: “Is getting back at your ex really what you want?”

Your instinct right now is probably to find your ex and beg for forgiveness and make any promise as long as your ex gets back together with you.  Or instead, you are plotting and scheming of ways to make your ex pay for ditching you. Believe it or not, these are two of the worst things you can do. There is a way, another way which is deviously clever yet as simple as anything.  A set of tried and true steps which can actually help you kill two birds with one stone. Follow these steps to a tee and you will find yourself in a very enviable position. You can GET BACK AT YOUR EX AND GET YOUR EX BACK.

That is an unbeatable, once in a lifetime deal, handed to you right here, right now on a silver platter.  Just read and follow these steps carefully, then sit back and enjoy the results.

1 – Strength Of Character You are not going to win friends and influence people by playing the sore loser. You will never gain valuable ground  by showing desperation, trying to cling on or by chasing contact with your ex. LET IT GO! At least for a while. Others, including your ex, will gain respect for you by knowing that you are defiantly going it alone. No whinging, no begging, no stalking, and no trying to hang on to what’s gone. Move on, move away and your ex will wonder why you could let go so easily.

2 - Cut All Contact With Your Ex. You are probably saying, “Why should I cut contact. I want to get back with my ex, not drift further apart. Well, there are two and a half reasons for this.

a) You need time out to reassess your life and situation and you can only do this successfully without interference from your ex.

b) Respect your ex and give her the same deal.

b+) Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

3 – Be An Ever Ready Ally If your ex needs to talk, comes to pick up their things or if you have any future contact with your ex following the breakup, DO NOT use these moments to discuss your broken relationship. Be a listener but don’t offer an opinion.  Sympathise with your ex, even help them resettle or watever it takes to show you have no hard feelings. That’s life, we are still friends. Do not be forceful with your ex, demanding that they move out, or pick their things up by a certain date. Be flexible, be a listener and a sympathizer. Your ex will be impressed by your mature attitude and learn to see you as a rock and not a wimp.

4 – Socialize More Than You Ever Have Before Get yourself out and about. Catch up with old friends, take up golf, join a bowling club, fishing club, try archery, or any other interest that brings you together with other like minded people. It’s not necessary to start dating or even to get involved with the opposite sex. In fact, it’s best if you don’t. While you still feel the emptiness or that hollow feeling your partner once foccupied, try to think of other ways to fill this void. Not only will you become a stronger person, you will also feel your self esteem growing.  If word gets around to your ex, she will soon learn to regret what she lost.

5 – Simply Be Yourself. You got together with your ex in the first place because she liked you for being you. Somewhere along the way you lost track of who you really are. This is the price we sometimes pay when we are smitten with love. Our personality  slowly changes as do our habits. Re-learn to dress, talk, walk, act and be the person she once loved. Your ex will begin to miss you, remembering more about who you where rather than what caused the bust up.

These are 5 things you should practice if you want to be reunited with your ex.

Until next time,

Love from Laura.

tags: , , , , ,
0 Comments
November 17, 2009 7:53 pm

How Can I Get Back Together With My Ex Girlfriend

0 Comments
by laura    in Advice Column, Professional Help

Sometimes when a relationship comes to an abrupt end, either one or both parties involved may still be in doubt that the end is really the end, and this is especially true when a relationship is new. Some men simply cannot accept the fact that their girlfriend walked away. Therefore, they find themselves still hoping she’ll still be there in the morning and that it was all a dream. Are you asking “How can I get back together with my ex girlfriend

If you are then it is important to understand that you need a good, strong ground plan. You need to use tactics you would otherwise never have used before. But before you embark on any such course of action, you should ask yourself. “Is she worth fighting for?” “Would I sacrifice just about anything to get her back”? “Will anything I do bring my girlfriend back”? In order to get back together with your ex girlfriend, you need to take steps. Here are some of the tips that you should keep in mind when working through this process.

If you are desperate and you are seeking the help of a real pro in the field of making up, then check out the very successful, The Magic Of Making Up, by T.W. Jackson. He has helped tens of thousands of busted couple. His percentage of success for getting ex girlfriends, husbands, boyfriends, wives, and yes FAMILIES back together again is second to none. Click here if you wish to learn more and read testimonials from thankful people who have reunited with lost loves.

• There is always a second chance for everyone, so it’s not impossible for you to get back together with your ex girlfriend. As I mentioned before, you need to be dead certain you want your girlfriend back. Do you still love her? Do you really want her back ? Are you trying to get her back because you don’t want to be alone, or you don’t believe you should have been dumped? If you are looking to get back with your ex for reasons other than love, you may be playing a dangerous game that would be better off avoided.

• Do not appear desperate or needy to your girlfriend if your priority is “how can I get back together with my ex girlfriend?” Although you may feel desperate, and you may really want her back, you absolutely need to control your emotions, keeping them to yourself. If you cannot help them, then it may be wise to talk to your friends or family so you can cry your heart out where she cannot see. Do not beg or cry in front of your girlfriend, however, and absolutely do not stalk her.

• Learn how to control your feelings, forgetting about self pity and instead working on the positive aspects of working things through with your ex. If you appear too needy, or if you come off as too desperate, she may end up avoiding you even more.

• Keep the communication lines with your ex open. She may have ended the relationship, but you just need to make her feel like communication lines are open and that you want to be civil. You do not have to be the one initiating the conversation, but you should be willing to say hello and have a conversation occasionally with her, keeping in touch casually.

• Above all else, analyze what went awry with the relationship. There must have been a problem that led to the end of the relationship, so find out what the problem was if you want to get back together with your ex. Find out what caused the arguments, of which of her needs weren’t being met, and work on rectifying those issues.

Again, wishing you the best and hoping my experience can bring you positive results.

Laura.

tags: , , , , ,
0 Comments
November 16, 2009 5:25 pm

How To Get An Ex Back

0 Comments
by laura    in Advice Column

Did you just experience a break up? Are you wondering how to go get an ex back? Almost nearly every adult has experienced some kind of a break up at some point or another, and most just work on moving on rather than looking for a way to get an ex back. But if you are over playing the victim and want to put some work in to get an ex back, then there are options for you.

Everyone deals with breakup, but does break up simply mean that you cannot get back together with your ex? The fact is, 90 percent of the time there is no reason why you cannot get an ex back after a break up, providing that you know what steps are necessary to win your ex back. The first step in learning how to get an ex back is to determine what exactly happened that caused the break up.

Even though you cannot go back into the past, and you cannot change what happened, you can learn from the mistakes that were made and you can try to learn and grow from the experiences. The break up may have occurred because of a single event, or it may have occurred from behaviors that your ex could not deal with anymore. No matter what the reason was that led to the breakup, you need to get the specifics figured out so that you can deal with the situation if it should ever come up again.

You can get an ex back if you know how, but if you want to make it work on a long term basis, you need to figure out what went wrong in the first place. The next step in the process is to ensure that you are not coming off as a needy person. Everyone will feel like they cannot live without their ex, but there is no point in making this obvious. Instead, you should stay strong, and let your ex see that you are doing just fine by yourself. If you let everyone around you see your comfort and self confidence, then you will have a better chance of getting back together with your ex.

Trying to get back at your ex, or trying to make your ex jealous is not a good way to operate. In fact, these are some of the worst things that you can possibly do, because it will show your ex that he or she should simply move on because you already have. It will also justify their reasons for leaving you in the first place.

While you do want your ex to see that you’re doing ok, you do not want it to inspire him or her to completely move on if your ideal scenario is to get back together. Let your ex see how strong and self confident you are, and they will feel inspired to get back together with you. Try it out.

Laura.

tags: , ,
0 Comments
November 12, 2009 12:41 pm

What Can I do To Get My Ex Girlfriend Back

0 Comments
by laura    in Advice Column

Most people find themselves asking “What can I do to get my ex girlfriend back” following a breakup. They begin to start thinking and philosophizing about everything that could have been done differently. They even begin to make plans about apology letters and other things that might be able to help them score their relationship back.

This tends to be a dead end for one reason above all else: Because you can never really tell what the real reasons were behind a breakup. Women become emotional and sometimes they do not even know what led to the break up at hand and they may not know what is making them feel the way they do. In many circumstances it is only harmful to lose all your energy trying to figure out what went wrong.

The first main strategy to answer the question about “what can I do to get my ex girlfriend back” is to forget about the relationship for a while, putting your energy into something else. Go out, make friends, have fun, network, and forget about women in general. Set some realistic goals about expanding your repertoire when it comes to seduction and meeting people.

Give yourself a couple of months and make changes in your life. Take some time away from your ex and it will work wonders.

The effect that strategies like this will have, is that it will allow you to make gradual changes in your life. And in how you perceive the subject of relationships. After a few months, you may have a much better idea of how you want to proceed with your ex.

Do you still want to get back together with her? Or are you ready to move on? Act accordingly. If you still want to get back together with her, it might be time to figure out how she is feeling about you.

Now is your chance to be a little more direct when it comes to getting your ex girlfriend back. You need to play strategically, however. Do not simply beg her to get back with you, because this is not a good time to be emotional.

Instead, what you should be doing is playing things cool with your ex. If you have spent enough time apart from her, she is probably missing you as badly as you are missing her. Play hard to get a little (don’t over do it) and show her that you are doing fine without her. This will inspire her to really rethink things.

And if getting back together with your ex really is meant to be, now is the time when it will become apparent. Be careful not to analyze things too much, because over analyzing may prevent you from acting the right way when trying to figure out “what can I do to get my ex girlfriend back”. Just take things slow and play them cool and you should be fine.

tags: , , , , ,
0 Comments